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  • மகப்பேறுக்கு பின் பல மனைவிகள் முற்றிலும் உடலுறவை புறக்கணிக்க ஆரம்பித்துவிடுகின்றனர். இதனால், ஆண்களும் அவர்களுக்கு போரடித்துவிட்டதாக கருதி மீண்டும், மீண்டும் வற்புறுத்துவதை அவமானமாக கருத ஆரம்பித்து விடுகின்றனர். இதனால், அவர்களுக்குள் நெருக்கம் இல்லாமல் போகின்றது. இது பல பிரச்சனைகளுக்கும் வழிவகை செய்துவிடும். மனைவி போரடித்துவிடுவதால் புறக்கணிப்பதில்லை. அவர்களது அச்சம் தான் பெரும்பாலும் தடுக்கின்றது.

உடல்ரீதியாக இணைவது மட்டும் பாலுறவு அல்ல. ஒருவர் மீது நம்பிக்கை, காதல் ஏற்பட்டு மனரீதியாக ஒன்றிணையும் பொழுது தான் பாலுறவு முழுமை அடைகின்றது. பல பெண்களும் குழந்தை பெற்ற பெண் உடலுறவு கொள்வதில் பெரிதாக ஆர்வம் காட்டுவதில்லை. இதற்கு, பல்வேறு காரணங்கள் இருக்கின்றன. அவற்றை இனி காண்போம்.

பிரசவ காலத்தில் ஏற்பட்ட வலி மற்றும் அசௌகரியம் உள்ளிட்டவை உங்கள் மனைவியின் மனதில் இருக்குமேயானால், அவர் உடலுறவில் ஈடுபட தயக்கம் காட்டுவார்கள்.

குழந்தை பிறந்த காலம் முதல் ஒரு வருடம் வரை உடல் ரீதியான பிரச்சினைகளை அவர்கள் சந்திக்க நேரிடும். முதல் குழந்தை பிறந்த பின்னர், குழந்தையை பார்த்துக் கொள்வதே பெரும் வேலையாக இருக்கும். எனவே, அவர்கள் கணவரின் பக்கம் தலை காட்டுவதில்லை. குழந்தையை கவனித்துக் கொள்வதில் கணவரும் சமபங்கு எடுத்துக் கொண்டால் உங்கள் இருவருக்கும் இடையே உள்ள உறவு அந்நியோன்யமாக இருக்கும்.

குழந்தை பிறக்கும்போது பெண்களுக்கு அதீத வலி இருக்கும். அதன் பிறகு தாம்பத்தியத்தில் ஈடுபடும் போதும் அந்த வலி சிலருக்கு இருக்கும். எனவே, இதனால் கூட அவர்கள் தாம்பத்தியத்தில் ஈடுபட மறுப்பு தெரிவிக்க வாய்ப்பு உள்ளது.

குழந்தை பிறந்த பின் சிலருக்கு உடல் எடையானது, அதிகரிக்கும். மேலும், பிறப்புறுப்பில் சில மாற்றங்கள் ஏற்பட்டிருக்கும். காயங்கள், எரிச்சல், உணர்வு அதிகமாக இருக்கும். உடலுறவு கொள்வதில் அசௌகரியம் இருப்பதால் அவர்கள் தவிர்க்கலாம். இந்த வலியானது சுகப்பிரசவம் அடைந்த பெண்களுக்கு மட்டுமல்லாமல், சிசேரியன் மூலம் குழந்தை பெற்றுக் கொள்ளும் பெண்களுக்கும் இருக்கின்றது.

இந்த பிரச்சினைகளை கடந்து வர அவர்களுக்கு மனோபலம் மிக அவசியம் என்று ஆய்வுகள் கூறுகின்றன. ஒரு சில பெண்கள் தாய்ப்பால் சுரக்கும் வரை உடலுறவு கொள்ள விரும்புவதில்லை. மேலும், சில பெண்கள் பிரசவத்திற்கு பின்னர், ‘தான் அழகு குறைந்து விட்டோம், உடல் எடை ஏறிவிட்டோம். தனது உடல் கணவனுக்கு பிடிக்காது.’ என்ற மனப்பான்மையில் தன்னம்பிக்கையை இழந்து விடுகின்றனர். இதனால், உடலுறவில் ஈடுபடும் போது சங்கடங்கள் உண்டாகும் என்ற அச்சத்தில் அவர்கள் உடலுறவை தவிர்க்கலாம்.

இந்த பிரச்சினைகளுக்கெல்லாம் தீர்வு, கணவர் உடலுறவு வாழ்க்கையை கொஞ்சம் தள்ளி வைத்துவிட்டு, மனைவியிடம் அன்பாக இருக்க வேண்டும். முன்பைவிட குழந்தை பிறந்த பின்னர், உங்களுடைய அன்பு, அக்கறை, அரவணைப்பு, உதவி எல்லாமே அவர்களுக்கு அதிகமாக தேவைப்படும். நீங்கள் அவர்களுக்கு உதவ வேண்டும் என்று அதிகமாக எதிர்பார்ப்பார்கள். இது அனைத்தும் அவர்களுக்கு சரியாக கிடைத்து விட்டாலே கணவன்- மனைவி உறவுக்குள் மீண்டும் உற்சாகம் பிறந்து, புதுமண தம்பதிகள் போல உறவு கொள்ள அவர்கள் தயாராகி, ஆர்வம் காட்டுவார்கள்.

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